According to the brilliant Brené Brown, resentment is part of the envy family. She writes, “I’m not mad because you’re resting. I’m mad because I’m so bone tired and I want to rest. But, unlike you, I’m going to pretend that I don’t need to.” Wow. Do you recognize yourself in those words? I absolutely do. It’s really important for me not to be perceived as lazy. So I have a hard time allowing myself to rest. Especially in a messy house or when there is still work to be done.
Yes, so true but why is it that men seem to have a much easier time at taking that moment for themselves without any feelings of laziness or guilt? I feel guilty when I rest and resentful when my also very wonderful husband relaxes. 🤷🏻♀️ugh, the never ending conundrum of coming into ease with self.
Yes, I completely relate and many of my mom friends probably could, too. I think women, especially mothers, are so hyperaware of what needs to be done that it's tough to let it go. I'm pretty good at letting things like the dishes and the laundry go so I can have a moment of downtime but then I also end up feeling bad about it or inadequate as a mom (why can't I do it all?? Oh yes, we weren't meant to do it all alone). I think the problem for most mamas is that lack of support. The nuclear family just isn't conducive to balanced motherhood. Thanks for sharing, it helps me feel like I'm not failing!
Thanks for describing and sharing your experience. I struggled with the same things when my children were young, and my husband was so good at relaxing..... We ended up divorced after 30 years of struggle. I wonder what would have happened if I had rested when I was tired, and asked for help when I was relaxed and didn't feel so resentful? I am glad you are taking care of yourself and sharing your insightful wisdom with others. Love and restful times, as needed, Maggie
I have highlight that passage of Brene Brown and reread it so often! Yes, frustration and resentment arises when I am bone tire and I see my husband taking it easy with no problem! I am better at taking care of myself but still not natural!
This made me smile as I have just been reading snippets of the Austrian writer Stefan Zweig (you must know him?!) he was musing about Austrians and their obsession with the newspapers! Skimming world events and politics to get to the truly important theatre reviews and opera notices! Your husband is fulfilling his civic duty lying there on the sofa! You need to find something similarly absolutely necessary to being American (which also involves lounging around!). 🙏🏻
Yes, so true but why is it that men seem to have a much easier time at taking that moment for themselves without any feelings of laziness or guilt? I feel guilty when I rest and resentful when my also very wonderful husband relaxes. 🤷🏻♀️ugh, the never ending conundrum of coming into ease with self.
I am still, at 71, learning how to rest. Why is it so hard?
I am 72 years old. Supta Baddha Konasana has become an afternoon ritual for me.
Allowing time to rest is vitally important, but can also be so hard, especially with children around. You are doing a great job! xxxx Loads of love x
Yes, I completely relate and many of my mom friends probably could, too. I think women, especially mothers, are so hyperaware of what needs to be done that it's tough to let it go. I'm pretty good at letting things like the dishes and the laundry go so I can have a moment of downtime but then I also end up feeling bad about it or inadequate as a mom (why can't I do it all?? Oh yes, we weren't meant to do it all alone). I think the problem for most mamas is that lack of support. The nuclear family just isn't conducive to balanced motherhood. Thanks for sharing, it helps me feel like I'm not failing!
Just read the same piece today! Thankfully taking a rest day for a change.
Thanks for describing and sharing your experience. I struggled with the same things when my children were young, and my husband was so good at relaxing..... We ended up divorced after 30 years of struggle. I wonder what would have happened if I had rested when I was tired, and asked for help when I was relaxed and didn't feel so resentful? I am glad you are taking care of yourself and sharing your insightful wisdom with others. Love and restful times, as needed, Maggie
It resonates so much with me🙏thanks for your beautiful honesty. We share the path of learning how to allow oneself to rest without guilt 🩷
I have highlight that passage of Brene Brown and reread it so often! Yes, frustration and resentment arises when I am bone tire and I see my husband taking it easy with no problem! I am better at taking care of myself but still not natural!
🙏 as always
Yes!! This totally resonates with me - thank you ❤️
This made me smile as I have just been reading snippets of the Austrian writer Stefan Zweig (you must know him?!) he was musing about Austrians and their obsession with the newspapers! Skimming world events and politics to get to the truly important theatre reviews and opera notices! Your husband is fulfilling his civic duty lying there on the sofa! You need to find something similarly absolutely necessary to being American (which also involves lounging around!). 🙏🏻