Watch now (36 sec) | My aunt died this week. She was a colorful christian woman who battled brain cancer with class, and then, when it was time, passed peacefully at her ranch in South Texas. The news arrived via Slack message from my brother while I was setting the table for a gluten-free family dinner with my step-daughter.
Grief is one of those emotions that we want to bury with busyness being the soil but what grows out of it is a weed of sorrow that hasn't received it due attention. My husband and I grieved our oldest son when he died. His death hit me like a boulder rolling down a mountain. It was hard to grieve his loss and for a year I got busy. Scheduling time to grieve doesn't work rather when we feel grief it's so important to acknowledge it, cry if needed, find stillness, and give thanks for the opportunity to feel. Scheduling time for remembrance and sending love through prayer or meditation does help so much.
Just practicing yoga alone with deeply emotional sound or music can help the process too; it surely helped me. Our emotions are a series of opposites - some hurt but the hurt grows like a vine into other aspects of our lives if we don't give the hard feelings a chance to rise, be honored and lifted up and outwards in love. Grief never leaves but with self-care it is not as pervasive as when it is new. Om's and Namaste's to your family during this time.
So sorry for your loss Lizzie. RIP to your auntie.
I’ve experienced ongoing grief during fertility treatment, and I have often felt stifled and unable to process or allow for it if things are too busy and hectic, even with just all the appointments/having to pretend I’m ok(the most exhausting thing). I’ve really learned to take myself to a quiet room, music on, or silence, savasana or legs up the wall, being in my body, letting tears come, or not, just honouring what needs to move through or be given space. Even a few minutes makes a difference for me.
Thank you for your words after experiencing the death of a loved one. Slowly depending on the relationship it will weave a memory pattern of love, joy, sadness , laughter and all the other emotions one can feel. But feel do feel and go to the depths wherever it is and allow your soul to open . Tovah Delmont
Hi, I’ve been saving this email for a few days because part of me really wants to comment and another part doesn’t. Here goes.
I’ve always struggled with Savasana in my home practice, which is all I’ve had since the pandemic. My brain immediately goes to death and grief. Since the recent death of my dog, I’ve had a difficult time being on my mat at all (although that has begun to ease), much less attempt Savasana. Part of the problem is that he was usually lying/snoring on a blanket next to me and I could put my hand on him to feel his breath and his heartbeat. This week at the end of my practice I started doing seated pranayama instead of Savasana, and that seems to be going pretty well.
It’s not that I don’t acknowledge my grief and sadness, but for some reason they overwhelm me in Savasana. (FYI, I’ve been through Judith’s level one restorative training in Minneapolis, 8 years ago — the same June we adopted our dog.)
Thanks for listening. ❤️ And I’m sorry for the loss of your aunt.
Sounds like you’re taking it one breath at a time, which is the best approach. Sometimes I start Savasana with an intention to understand or receive or feel the answer to a question. Perhaps you could gently ask yourself what’s blocking you from letting go into the pose these days?
Dear Lizzie, I am sorry for your loss especially since you are in a foreign country and cannot hug the members of the family who share your loss. I agree it is not easy to take the time to feel the loss. I lost in March my beloved great-aunt who was 104 years old. An honourable age and it felt quite stupid to be sad but we loved each other deeply and so one night I woke up and just cried a lot. I needed it! It was the last of my female ancestors to 'leave' me and I dearly miss her. In the space of 3 years I lost my god-mother, my grand-mother and my great-aunt, so it was a shock to loose people who are bearing in your life since childhood. But now I feel this strong and loving support from all my female ancestors....when I take the time to be silent, alone, still and I can connect to my deep self. Thank you for sharing and encourage to take time to just be. It is so hard but vital to do so. Sending you warm thoughts.
I appreciate your raw authenticity Lizzie. Condolences for the loss of your aunt. Grief does need space and each of us move through it in our own way. Loved the interview with Erica. Powerful!
Hi Lizzie. Thank you for sharing about your aunt passing away. She sounds like she was a strong, brave & kind person. I’m sorry for your & your family’s loss.
My yoga is in me always but when life is at a particularly hectic pitch, I breathe the mantra, “Just do one thing.” And, amazingly, my entire being settles, making it possible to be present in each “one thing,” one after the other.
When I receive communication (particularly via the ethernet) that requires some thought or process time I often shelve it until I have the time and space to sit with it and respond. Sometimes it is a day or two but I find this method sits best with my soul. In particular, for me, grief and sadness need to percolate, evolve and be integrated in their own time.
Grief is one of those emotions that we want to bury with busyness being the soil but what grows out of it is a weed of sorrow that hasn't received it due attention. My husband and I grieved our oldest son when he died. His death hit me like a boulder rolling down a mountain. It was hard to grieve his loss and for a year I got busy. Scheduling time to grieve doesn't work rather when we feel grief it's so important to acknowledge it, cry if needed, find stillness, and give thanks for the opportunity to feel. Scheduling time for remembrance and sending love through prayer or meditation does help so much.
Just practicing yoga alone with deeply emotional sound or music can help the process too; it surely helped me. Our emotions are a series of opposites - some hurt but the hurt grows like a vine into other aspects of our lives if we don't give the hard feelings a chance to rise, be honored and lifted up and outwards in love. Grief never leaves but with self-care it is not as pervasive as when it is new. Om's and Namaste's to your family during this time.
So sorry for your loss Lizzie. RIP to your auntie.
I’ve experienced ongoing grief during fertility treatment, and I have often felt stifled and unable to process or allow for it if things are too busy and hectic, even with just all the appointments/having to pretend I’m ok(the most exhausting thing). I’ve really learned to take myself to a quiet room, music on, or silence, savasana or legs up the wall, being in my body, letting tears come, or not, just honouring what needs to move through or be given space. Even a few minutes makes a difference for me.
Such a wonderful resource we have.
Hope to practise with you soon.
X
Thank you for your words after experiencing the death of a loved one. Slowly depending on the relationship it will weave a memory pattern of love, joy, sadness , laughter and all the other emotions one can feel. But feel do feel and go to the depths wherever it is and allow your soul to open . Tovah Delmont
Hi, I’ve been saving this email for a few days because part of me really wants to comment and another part doesn’t. Here goes.
I’ve always struggled with Savasana in my home practice, which is all I’ve had since the pandemic. My brain immediately goes to death and grief. Since the recent death of my dog, I’ve had a difficult time being on my mat at all (although that has begun to ease), much less attempt Savasana. Part of the problem is that he was usually lying/snoring on a blanket next to me and I could put my hand on him to feel his breath and his heartbeat. This week at the end of my practice I started doing seated pranayama instead of Savasana, and that seems to be going pretty well.
It’s not that I don’t acknowledge my grief and sadness, but for some reason they overwhelm me in Savasana. (FYI, I’ve been through Judith’s level one restorative training in Minneapolis, 8 years ago — the same June we adopted our dog.)
Thanks for listening. ❤️ And I’m sorry for the loss of your aunt.
Sounds like you’re taking it one breath at a time, which is the best approach. Sometimes I start Savasana with an intention to understand or receive or feel the answer to a question. Perhaps you could gently ask yourself what’s blocking you from letting go into the pose these days?
Dear Lizzie, I am sorry for your loss especially since you are in a foreign country and cannot hug the members of the family who share your loss. I agree it is not easy to take the time to feel the loss. I lost in March my beloved great-aunt who was 104 years old. An honourable age and it felt quite stupid to be sad but we loved each other deeply and so one night I woke up and just cried a lot. I needed it! It was the last of my female ancestors to 'leave' me and I dearly miss her. In the space of 3 years I lost my god-mother, my grand-mother and my great-aunt, so it was a shock to loose people who are bearing in your life since childhood. But now I feel this strong and loving support from all my female ancestors....when I take the time to be silent, alone, still and I can connect to my deep self. Thank you for sharing and encourage to take time to just be. It is so hard but vital to do so. Sending you warm thoughts.
I appreciate your raw authenticity Lizzie. Condolences for the loss of your aunt. Grief does need space and each of us move through it in our own way. Loved the interview with Erica. Powerful!
Thinking of you in the loss of your Aunt.
Memories will come to you interwoven amongst your busy- ness, infant tending
and all your duties as a wife and mom.
Enjoy them, each one and smile remembering your times together.
🙏🏼💚😍
Thinking of you dear Lizzie. Thanks for sharing. Savasana is indeed so powerful. I wish you peace and I am sending energetic hugs to you.
Hi Lizzie. Thank you for sharing about your aunt passing away. She sounds like she was a strong, brave & kind person. I’m sorry for your & your family’s loss.
My yoga is in me always but when life is at a particularly hectic pitch, I breathe the mantra, “Just do one thing.” And, amazingly, my entire being settles, making it possible to be present in each “one thing,” one after the other.
Sending love & peace. —Cyn
Great topic! When my mother in law passed (lived with me for 20 yrs) I found savasana to be my biggest release and comfort at the same time
Condolences for the loss of your aunt.
I am feeling you..all the way across the pond…hope you feel the embrace
Yessssss. Thank you, Deborah 💗
When I receive communication (particularly via the ethernet) that requires some thought or process time I often shelve it until I have the time and space to sit with it and respond. Sometimes it is a day or two but I find this method sits best with my soul. In particular, for me, grief and sadness need to percolate, evolve and be integrated in their own time.
Love this approach, BJ. Sounds like another way to give ourselves permission to slow down...